October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, which can be a difficult time of reflection for pregnant people and families who have experienced (or recently suffered) a miscarriage. While miscarriages are relatively common experiences, it can be incredibly hard to navigate your thoughts and feelings while mourning a loss. Today, we’re sharing ways to cope with a miscarriage that can hopefully help you through the healing process.
Know you’re not alone
Suffering a miscarriage can instantly trigger feelings of guilt, sadness, and isolation. Often times, people blame themselves or their bodies for miscarriages, even though it’s no fault of their own. In fact, it’s estimated that anywhere from 10 to 20 percent of all known pregnancies end in miscarriages, and those numbers are even higher for pregnancies that aren’t known or medically confirmed.
All that to say: Miscarriages are much more common than most realize. Of course, this fact doesn’t make the loss any easier to cope with. But it can help shed feelings of self-blame and guilt.
Talk about it
The reason most people don’t know how common miscarriages are? It’s not talked about enough. People who have suffered miscarriages may feel like they can’t speak up about it or feel ashamed for what happened. But the more you talk about it, the more you may realize that others have had shared experiences. Depending on your level of comfort and trust with others, you can talk to:
- Your partner
- Your doctor
- A licensed therapist or counselor
- A pastor
- Support groups (in-person or online)
- A trusted friend
- Certified, anonymous helplines
Give yourself time
Simply put: Everyone grieves differently. And grieving a miscarriage should be no different. For some, that means trying to get back to ‘normal’ as soon as possible. For others, it takes a bit longer. And that’s okay! Wherever you’re at in the grieving process, give yourself the time and space you need to navigate your feelings.
If you’re able, set boundaries with those around you and prioritize self-care. Remember, though, grief isn’t usually a linear experience and often comes and goes in waves. When that happens, be patient with yourself and do whatever feels right for you and your own journey towards healing.
Ask for help
No one should have to go through a miscarriage alone. But because it’s still not widely talked about, many people feel they have to suffer in silence. We’re here to tell you that you don’t. Advocate for yourself by asking for help from someone close to you or a professional. Miscarriages are more than just a physical loss; they also impact a person’s mental and emotional wellbeing, and you should never feel ashamed to get the support you need.
For help and support at home, you can also turn to the Maternal Instincts team. We understand that many people who suffer miscarriages still have a family to take care of, which can be incredibly difficult while grieving. From newborn care and night nannies to sleep training and family support, our services are designed to help in whichever way you need.
When you’re ready, reach out to us to schedule your free, 15-minute consultation.